December's muses
+ some fun new year content & what's to come for the newsletter
This is monthly muses, a roundup of the month’s song, film, words, art and various thoughts.
Note: I’ve added a blurb for the month’s film, some pictures in other various places, & a new years list of sorts. Enjoy!
December’s film: Almost Famous (2000) Dir. Cameron Crowe
Almost Famous is one of those movies I recommend to everyone. It has an insane soundtrack, brilliant acting, it’s a bit silly at times, but ultimately it’s a feel good movie about music in the 70’s and journalism and love. What more could you want?
December’s song: Trapeze Artist by Youth Lagoon
December’s words: From Sue Zhao
“I am every age I have ever been. All time ever does is pass and all I ever do is remember.”
December’s art: Thorn
December’s thoughts:
Lay On The Floor. Do It Now
I am a big believer in the healing properties of laying on the floor. There’s something about it that sets your head straight. Just lay down and listen to a song you used to love or listen to nothing at all, but do it on the floor. Think about how small you are and think about the little things that made you happy recently. When things feel out of place, lay on the floor. It will work wonders.
Reflections etc, etc, etc
I, like everyone else in the world, have been contemplating my year. Outwardly it was uneventful, but I spent a lot of time with myself. I got back into reading and discovered what I liked and didn’t like to read, what made me ugly cry and what made me see the world in a different light. I watched terrible movies and saw beautiful art and broke a bad habit and was gentle with myself.
I started this Substack and it’s been nothing short of lovely; I reached 100 subscribers and cried because it was so surreal and I’m forever grateful for all of you. I shared an extremely personal essay and it resonated with a lot of people and that made me cry, too, but in a I-may-have-given-someone-some-sort-of-comfort-in-this-cruel-world way, and that’s all we can ever hope to do in our lives, isn’t it? Anyways, it was cathartic to put it into plain language and not abstract metaphors in increasingly vague (and frankly bad) poetry, and I am so beyond grateful for the love it got.
On healing
I spent this year healing. As I’ve already said, it feels like apathy sometimes and that can feel isolating, but it’s still healing. I’ve learned, as well, two paradoxal things about healing: it is not something that you can do on your own — and it is something you can only do on your own. Allow me to explain:
Healing from anything requires love, first and foremost. I found it in those around me, in my family and reconnecting with an old friend and everyone who had an impact on me and the way I love. But healing is, I believe, such a deeply personal thing that it is something you must do on your own. That’s not to say that healing should be lonely, it’s only to say that nobody can do it for you. In that way healing is both communal and dependent on yourself.
Tell people you love them
My dad had a health scare earlier this year and it was terrifying (he’s okay). It certainly shifted my perspective on many things, mainly time and how to be more present. He is not an outwardly emotional person but he has started calling me hon and carving out time for us to watch movies together; I am not an outwardly emotional person either but the first time he called me hon I cried for a while and I don’t like watching movies alone now.
Tell the people you love that you love them, often and with your whole heart.
Things you should start doing this year (if you want):
Writing letters to your future self (I use this site and yes they will make you cry and laugh at yourself but they make you feel less lonely and it’s just fun!)
Doing crosswords (it’s good for your brain)
Laying on the floor (see above)
Collecting trinkets (why not?)
Being gentle with yourself (you deserve it)
Taking great care curating playlists (again, it’s just fun!)
My own reading related goals for this year:
Read more non-fiction (
coming to you for recommendations!)Read more queer books! (newly discovered thing about myself this year calls for more exploration in reading; any recommendations are greatly appreciated!)
Give myself permission to stop reading a book if I don’t like it (life’s too short and all that)
Read more intersectional feminist lit (if anyone has got some good recommendations do let me know!)
I want to hear your reading related (or non reading related) goals for this year!
Coming up: (I have no set dates, I apologize! Think of it as a fun surprise).
House of Leaves essay / review
Review of Harvest (from Substack’s very own
!)Review of Our Share of Night (with
!)Essay on writing
Short story for
’s The Blackwater Files!Essay on mothers & daughters
Many more A novel & A song installations!
It feels trivial and stupid and apathetic to be reflecting on my year in the midst of the genocide going on in Palestine. This year was horrific for so many people, and so many did not live to see the end of this year. Again, I encourage you to donate if you’re able to, educate yourself, sign petitions, go out to protests, and keep talking about it.
That’s all for now, take care of yourself and have a lovely start of the year <3
What a lovely year! Thank you so much for shout! :)
What a beautiful year you had! Thank you for sharing. I'm glad you are here!
Also, I LOVE laying on the floor. It confuses the hell out of husbo but I'm like, just leave me be. So grounding, so good!