Trying out this new mid month muses format, do let me know what you think. Everything listed here was made by queer/trans creatives!
This one is for the last half of June (and perhaps some lingering pieces from May).
June’s film: I Saw the TV Glow (2024)
There is no better movie for this month than this one. I Saw the TV Glow is quietly devastating and beautiful and one of the most important movies to ever be made. Here is a string of notes I made while watching: deeply suburban existence, wanting to claw your skin off your body, this isn’t home, queer in a way that’s failing me, the horror of becoming, the horror of knowing, the end of the world, that house looks just like the one on my street, time moves like something without mercy, oh the misery.
The soundtrack! The cinematography! The performances!
I will direct you to Victoria's review & breakdown, it is incredibly well done and she goes in depth about the themes at the core of it:
June’s song: They Harmonize by Jordaan Mason
I am once again telling you all to go listen to Jordaan Mason (what’s new?). I have been listening to this song on repeat for months, there's just something about it. It’s stripped down, raw, a short but affecting exploration of queer identity and religion and I am, as always, in awe of their ability to capture such things so poignantly.
June’s words: From Ocean Vuong
Because no one else
was coming — & I ran
out of reasons.
So I gathered fistfuls
of ash, dark as ink,
hammered them
into marrow, into
a skull thick
enough to keep
the gentle curse
of dreams. Yes, I aimed
for mercy —
but came only close
as building a cage
around the heart.
From Essay on Craft by Ocean Vuong
June’s art: Groovychi
Shop here!
June’s various musings:
Often I am unsure if I need deep structural change in my life or to perform an inane ritual
When I get anxious I find it marginally hard to breathe; not hard enough to, say, go home from work, but hard enough that I keep yawning because my brain is trying to get more oxygen and my co-workers keep making remarks on how tired I must be. I have always been terrible at knowing when I get this anxious, it always takes inhaling deep, airy breaths like I’ve just emerged from underwater to bring my attention to it. I feel ridiculous, both that I cannot breathe and that my body has to tell me, via shortness of breath, that I’m anxious. I have never been good at knowing how I feel.
The last time I couldn’t breathe I ended up doing laps around a table, listening to (specifically) Homeward Bound by Simon & Garfunkel and tapping my fingers on the table to the song as I walked. This is one of the only things that work.
Notes on queer/trans horror
Horror as a genre is vast and grotesque and wonderful and brilliant and vivid and expansive and queer/trans. It’s always been a fascination of mine, and the subgenre that is queer/trans horror is full of rich, emotionally packed, explorative stories and I love it more than anything. Horror has always provided a place to exist for those who were historically not allowed to exist as easily; those on the fringes, on the margins.
I’m taking a pop culture class so I’ve been thinking a lot about this but I think this indulgence of queer/trans people & communities in the horror genre is, in some ways, a response to how queer/trans people have been typically depicted in other genres, which is, historically, terrible. The subgenre of queer/trans horror has been carved out of horror and more broadly out of media and literature as a response, as a need (and rightly so) to take up space in every genre with queer/trans stories.
Queer/trans horror book recommendations (varying levels of horror):
The Woods All Black by Lee Mandelo
Manhunt by Gretchen Felker-Marin
Carmilla by J. Sheridan Le Fanu
Tell Me I’m Worthless by Alison Rumfitt
Our Share of Night by Mariana Enriquez
Negative Space by B.R Yeager
The Haunting of Hill House by Shirley Jackson
Leech by Hiron Ennes
Cursed Bread by Sophie Mackintosh
Our Wives Under the Sea by Julia Armfield
Her Body and Other Parties by Carmen Maria Machado
June’s restack:
This month I want to share Robin’s post (I know, I share his posts often but come on, how can I not?) about the history of pride and how trans people have always had to fight twice as hard to be included in it. Please give it a read, watch Sylvia Rivera’s speech that Robin links, and make sure to subscribe.
That’s all for now, take care of yourself, and again, happy pride everyone <3
love the book rec list! the only one i’ve read is carmilla, which i really liked, so i’ll definitely look out for the others on my book store trips
Her Body and Other Parties is the best book ever!! and I'm currently (finally!) reading Carmilla and it's sooooo good. Amazing taste as always <3